Colleague story: Why wouldn’t you have a Power of Attorney? – Peter Selby

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For Peter Selby, helping his parents set up Powers of Attorney proved to be one of the most important practical steps he took in supporting them as they grew older.

Working as a client relationship manager at Standard Life, he’s used to helping people think ahead and plan for the future. That professional perspective meant he already understood the value of being prepared – but making arrangements for his own family brought that home in a very real way.

Once the Powers of Attorney were in place, Peter and his sister found themselves relying on them sooner than expected. When their father passed away suddenly, the documents allowed them to step in quickly – managing their mother’s finances, arranging her care, and supporting her without delay. Looking back, Peter is in no doubt about the difference that having Powers of Attorney made in reducing stress and making things much easier to manage.

Can you tell us a little about your family and how Power of Attorney came into your life?

It probably goes back to 2022, when my parents were just heading into their 80s. I’d always been aware of Power of Attorney, but never really got round to doing it.

My independent financial adviser had been encouraging me for years. She kept saying, “You need to do a Power of Attorney”, and eventually I asked her to help me understand why I needed one.

She told me about one of her clients, a successful businessman who had a serious crash on the motorway and was in a coma for six months. He hadn’t set up a Power of Attorney, and his wife had no access to his bank accounts or financial information. She couldn’t deal with anything.

That example made me realise this isn’t about age – it’s about being prepared for the unexpected.

I started by helping my mum and dad put their Powers of Attorney in place – for health and welfare, and for financial and property affairs. Then my wife and I set them up for ourselves, and we've since helped my father-in-law too.

How did you approach the conversation with your parents?

As a family, we’re quite lucky. My sister and I get on very well, and we’ve always been able to talk openly.

We sat down with Mum and Dad and said, “We need to think about the future.” We’d done some basic research, so we could explain clearly what a Power of Attorney was.

My dad’s first concern was whether he would lose control and no longer be able to manage things himself. He asked if he would still be able to go up the precinct and into the bank for a chat. 

I reassured him that nothing would change unless he wanted it to. That was the key point; he wasn’t giving anything up.

Once they understood that, the conversation was actually quite straightforward.

What happened when you needed to use the Powers of Attorney?

My sister and I were set up as ‘attorneys’ – meaning we could make decisions for my parents when they needed us to – and then we lost my dad on New Year’s Day. Up to that point, he had been my mum’s full-time carer.

Suddenly, we had to step in immediately to arrange care, deal with finances and sort out bills.

That’s where the Powers of Attorney made a real difference. We were able to contact the banks, provide the activation code, and within days we could act on Mum’s behalf.

That meant we could start dealing with everything straight away – funeral costs, household bills, council tax, pensions – all the practical things that need to happen quickly. 

Within a few weeks, we were able to sit down and get a clear picture of what was coming in and going out, and then organise care for Mum.

What stood out was how quickly some organisations responded once I could prove I was an attorney for Mum. It’s still a lot to deal with, but the key difference is that you can actually get things done. You’re not held back by not having the authority.

How did it help with your mum’s care?

It made a significant difference.

At first, we were able to keep Mum at home with support, and the Power of Attorney meant we could organise and pay for that care quickly.

Later, when her health declined, we had to move her into a care home. Again, having access to her finances meant we could manage the fees without delay.

It allowed us to focus on making sure she was properly looked after, rather than worrying about the administration.

How did your wider family respond?

My sister and I were completely aligned, and there were no disagreements.

That comes down to how we were brought up – we’ve always been open about money and responsibilities.

I know that isn’t always the case. I see situations where families fall out over these things.

But for us, it worked well because there was trust.

How did you find the process of setting up a Power of Attorney?

Initially, I had to work through carefully to understand how to set one up. But then it became much easier to help my wife with hers.

There are a few technical points to get right – things like who can act as a witness or certificator. We nearly made a mistake on that, so it’s worth checking the guidance.

There are also small details that can trip people up. My dad’s signature went slightly outside the box on the form, and it was rejected, so he had to redo it.

But overall, it’s not that complicated. Once you understand the process, it’s manageable.

You’ve helped others set up Power of Attorney – what have you learned from that?

In the last year, I’ve helped set up around 14 Powers of Attorney for friends and family – just supporting them to go online and do it.

Often, it’s just about giving people the confidence to do it. One friend said he was terrible at form filling and didn’t know where to start, so we sat down together and completed it in half an hour, and helped his wife with hers. 

People tend to assume it's complicated, but it can actually be quite straightforward. Some people choose to complete the Power of Attorney documents themselves, while others prefer support from a solicitor, especially if their circumstances are more complex. Power of Attorney registration fees differ depending on where you live in the UK, while any solicitor fees for preparing the documents vary independently. 

Has this experience changed how you think about planning ahead?

Yes. My wife and I have now put Powers of Attorney in place for ourselves, and we've also helped my father-in-law, who has Parkinson's and early-stage dementia. It's important for people to understand that you can only set up a Power of Attorney while you still have mental capacity.

Having seen how it works in practice, it’s something I now see as an essential part of planning ahead.

My background in financial services has probably helped. I’ve worked in retirement planning for 40 years, so I’m always thinking about other people’s futures and aspirations.  

That’s helped me to phrase and position conversations, not just with my parents and my father-in-law, but with friends and family as well.

What would you say to someone who hasn’t yet discussed Power of Attorney with their family?

It’s a conversation everyone should be having. People often wait until there’s a crisis, but that’s the worst time to deal with it.

For me, it’s about thinking through the consequences of not having one. Power of Attorney allows you to support and look after the person properly, and it takes away a lot of the practical burden at a difficult time.

The key thing is getting the education out there; people think it’s difficult, but it often isn’t. It’s easy for me to say that because I like form filling, sadly, but the government have made it much easier now.

How would you sum up what you’ve learned?

Thank God I set up my Powers of Attorney, and helped my loved ones with theirs, when I did.

It was only when we lost Dad that we realised how important it was. It meant we could take the financial worry away from Mum and focus on caring for her.

I’m a big advocate of it now. I’m very passionate about it, as you can probably tell.

Key takeaways from Peter:

• Reassure your loved ones. Explain to them that it doesn’t remove control but simply provides support.
• A Power of Attorney can enable someone to take action for you – and quickly. From banking to care arrangements, it removes practical barriers.
• Once you understand the process, it can be straightforward to complete. Find out more about the process in England and Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland.

  Powers of Attorney enable people to care for their loved ones – instead of fretting about paperwork in difficult moments.

This page is not legal advice. If you need help with your own situation, you should seek independent legal advice.